A Reflection of My Nursing Career

As I reflect back on the 32 years of my nursing profession, I realize that I am now at a crossroads and major decisions will need to be made soon. Ending my career this early was never in my forethought but either was being diagnosed with Stage IV Terminal Lung Cancer at the age of 51. I’m grateful I had these 32 years of being able to give back and care for others just as I’m being cared for today. The old saying, “What goes around, comes around” certainly is true.

I had the wonderful opportunity of working as a nurse’s aide at St. Joseph’s Convalescent Hospital during my high school years (1978-1979) in Ojai, California. This is the same facility my Grandpa Meyers inspected back in the 1950’s as a building inspector. I considered this my first job and really the kickoff of what was to come for my future. St. Joseph’s was a Catholic run facility and the Brother’s that worked there were so patient teaching me the very basic skills of nursing. I grew to love the job and would often go in on my days off to help feed that patient’s and wash and set the ladies hair. The love that I showed them came right back at me. How quickly I got attached to these wonderful individuals.

After graduating from high school, I was fortunate to get a nurse’s aide job at Ojai Valley Community Hospital while attending Ventura College. Due to the small size of Ojai Hospital, I was privileged to work in the many different areas of the hospital and gain some valuable experience from all departments. I had some great mentors there who loved to teach. For this, I was most grateful.  For two years, as I was working at the hospital, I attended Ventura College working on my pre-requisites to get into the 2 year Associate Degree Nursing Program. I actually had to wait a semester due to the number on the list waiting get in. This gave me time to complete all prerequisites so when I did finally get accepted, I was all done with those classes. The next two years were some of the most challenging, fun, scary, hard-working years of my life. My buddies that I bonded with became my second family. Through all the perseverance and hard work, I graduated the youngest in my class of 88 nurses at the age of 20.

From there, I landed a job at Community Memorial Hospital, in Ventura, California, working nights on a Med/Surg floor. I did this for about two year before switching to a day shift position on a brand new Oncology (Cancer) Unit that I actually got to help develop. I did that for the next 8 years and it was the job that I most loved. I worked with the greatest physicians, nurses, therapist and support personnel. It was here that I met my beloved husband Dennis who was working as a Respiratory Therapist. Within a year, we were married and I gained two wonderful step-sons-Bryan and Jimmy.

Our family quickly grew from four to six, as Kristi and Joey were soon born, and we were living in a two bedroom home. We knew we would eventually need a larger house but couldn’t afford a new place in California. Dennis and I were visiting my parents in Island Park, Idaho and decided to take a drive to Idaho Falls to see the hospital, Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center (EIRMC). We both got interviews and were offered jobs on site. We quickly went home, sold the house, and moved to Idaho. Kristi was three and Joey was 18 months at the time.

My nursing career at EIRMC started out working again on a Med/Surg floor where I quickly worked myself into a charge nurse position. I frequently worked with Oncology patients giving them their chemo, some of the same drugs that I’m currently receiving today. After several years of this type of nursing, I was asked to be one of three case managers in a new Case Management Program being developed. I was excited about the change and the new learning opportunity I was about to endeavor. That’s what I love about nursing-so many opportunities for growth.

After two years of being a med/surg case manager, I was asked to be the Manager and went back to school to get my Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing at Idaho State University, all while working, raising two small children, and caring for a husband who was not well at the time. Fortunately, I had two very good friends who decided to go back to school with me, and the three of us persevered together. After several years, the department continued to grow and I was asked to be the Director of Case Management and Social Services. This necessitated me to return to school, once again, and pursue my Master’s Degree in Nursing which I did with an emphasis in Executive Nursing Leadership. My two cohorts were right there with me and we graduated together in 2008 from Research College of Nursing out of Kansas City, Missouri.

Fast forward 21 years from the time we moved to Idaho and I started my employment at EIRMC. My department had grown from 3 case managers to 12, in addition to having 10 social workers. We covered all areas of the hospital 7 days a week between the hours of 6:00am to 10:00pm. These employees that worked for me the past 18 years are some of the finest, hard-working, dedicated individuals that I have ever known. They made my job easy as they knew what was expected and they went out and did it. No micro-managing. They worked autonomously and got the job done. I loved my department and I saw myself working with them until I retired.

Then the bomb dropped. Something I never expected or wished upon for anyone. I was diagnosed with Stage IV Terminal Lung Cancer at the young age of 51 on February 14 of all dates. Yea, right…Happy Valentine’s Day to me! I was discharged from the hospital after my diagnosis on February 16. I haven’t been back to work since and continue to be out on short term disability which is up on July 10. After 12 weeks of being off work, my employer decided it would be best to fill my position. I was hoping that they would have held off until the latter part of June, after my follow-up CT and echo, but that didn’t happen. I was quite disappointed, as was my department.

As for now, I have a decision to make, do I return to work or not??? I have completed 6 rounds of chemo. Luckily, I have tolerated the chemo pretty well except for a couple of days post infusion. My hair has thinned, but still have it. My eyes react every third week post chemo becoming red, irritated and very swollen. This last’s about a week. I’m quite emotional, will cry at the drop of a hat. I blame this on the chemo although it’s probably a combination of everything that has transpired the last 4 ½ months. I fear that the stress from work may hinder my recovery efforts. I want to be able to give it my all and fear now is not the right time. I need to take this time and take care of myself, spend time with my family, and do the things that I want to do. So hard for me to say that, since I have always cared for others during my lifetime. But I must refocus now. It’s about me and my family. One day at a time.